Psalm 40

(Photo care of In an African Minute, blog.)

One of the things that has happened to me the past several years and in particular, in Uganda and since I returned, was seeing how my brokenness and sin are in fact, blessings from the Lord.
A paradox in some ways, but I realize that there was and is much that God has used to break me and humble me to hear His voice more clearly...and to come in repentance to him time and time again. My deep need for love, hope and security - I learned could only come from Him - and as often as I fall, He offers hope to lift me up again.

I was reading today, Psalm 40 and it struck me that this is what I have been praying to the Lord in so many words. Someone at church today shared his testimony - that in the depths of his pain and suffering - he finally was able to release his life to the Lord when he read in a book, that God was not a father that stands apart from us and wishes us well, or gives us a pat on the shoulder...He suffers with us. He feels our pain more than we feel it ourselves. In our brokenness He touches and heals us, when we finally acknowledge our dependence on Him, and His grace and mercy...Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins and he did it by suffering for us, with us and because of us. The verse in our liturgy today had this verse from 2 Corinthians 8:9: "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich."

And as Bishop Niryingiye shared in a powerful sermon previously posted: "Brokenness turned into joy...is the story of the Christian life."

Psalm 40

"I waited patiently for the Lord. He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of destruction,
out of the sticky mud.
He stood me on a rock and made my feet steady.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.
Many people will see this and worship him.
Then they will trust in the Lord.

Happy is the person who trusts the Lord,
who doesn't turn to those who are proud
or those who worship false gods.
Lord my God, you have done many miracles.
Your plans for us are many.
If I tried to tell them all, there would be too many to count.

You do not want sacrifices and offerings.
But you have made a hole in my ear to show that my body and life are yours.
You do not ask for burnt offerings and sacrifices to take away my sins.
Then I said, "look I have come. It is written about me in the book.
My God, I want do what you want. Your teachings are in my heart."

I will tell about your goodness in the great meeting of your people.
Lord, you know my lips are not silent.
I do not hide your goodness in my heart;
I speak about your loyalty and salvation.
I do not hide your love and truth from the people in the great meeting.

Lord, do not hold back your mercy from me;
let your love and truth always protect me.
Troubles have surrounded me; there are too many to count.
My sins have caught me
so that I cannot see a way to escape.
I have more sins than hairs on my head, and I have lost courage.

Please, Lord, save me.

Hurry, Lord, to help me.
People are trying to kill me.
Shame them and disgrace them.
People want to hurt me.
Let them run away in disgrace.
People are making fun of me.
let them be shamed into silence.
But let those who follow you be happy and glad.
They love you for saving them.
May they always say, "Praise the Lord!"

Lord, because I am poor and helpless,
please remember me.
You are my helper and savior.
My God, do not wait."